Archive for July, 2010


Thoughts on chastity devices

If you go and have a bit of a search around the web for stuff relating to male submission to women, you will no doubt stumble across something to do with chastity devices and keeping us boys from having that sort of fun when no one is watching. You will probably have also noticed that there are two sides to this topic – both agree with the fact that the Mistress should have control over the man and his erections/masturbation/orgasms etc, but its how this is achieved that differs. One group will say that when a man submits to a woman, he should be able to demonstrate enough self restraint to not touch himself without permission, and that there is no need for chastity devices, the other group says that men can’t be trusted and should be locked up and only let out at the Mistress’s discretion (if at all). I’ll put it out there now that i am in the latter group, but not necessarily because i don’t think i could be trusted though.

We currently own a CB2000 chastity device, and in previous attempts at making something work for this type of relationship i used to wear it all the time, 24×7 for days at a time usually. The device itself doesn’t really bother me (sometimes it gets a little uncomfortable but a lot of the time i can barely tell its there) like it does for a lot of people out there (again, looking through forums and web pages a lot of people say most of the plastic ones are incredibly uncomfortable). i was often told that i could take it of to sleep or if it was getting uncomfortable that i could have a break, but more often than not i would choose to keep it on. Why you ask? Well the answer has two parts – firstly, it was a constant reminder of my place and my choice to submit, and secondly it meant that i was horny all the time, which helped me keep my head in that submissive space.

So thinking about the first part there – the constant reminder. i spend a lot of time thinking about ‘kinky’ stuff – i mean a lot of time. So if i already spent all of this time thinking about it, why do i need a constant reminder? Well for me its about the specific trains of though i have i think. When i’m not locked up i find myself thinking about random little fantasies, nothing too major, but its more in the quantity over quality category. When i’m locked up i find myself constantly thinking about my wife, the woman with the key, the woman to whom i give all the power. i think about the ways that i can serve her and ways that she can have her way with me and torture me and the whole kinky thoughts thing takes on a very specific train of thought that revolves around her. i think there is much more of a psychological angle to it that i ever thought there could be and i think that is fantastic – there are so many psychological things about do it for me so anything that adds to the wonderful mess of sexual fantasy in my head gets a big tick in my book.

That constant psychological trigger is what leads to the second point – its more of a trigger for the second point i guess, the constant arousal. The two sorta go hand in hand i think – being aroused by the cage gets me all thinking about how submissive i am, how submissive i can be, and how submissive i want to be – and when i think about those things i get aroused, its all a deliciously vicious cycle.

i’m hoping that as the wife and i start to figure out more of how this type of relationship can work for us that we can do it with me under lock and key – time will tell though.


How can a blank canvas be so confused?

bemused adjective – preoccupied; lost in thought

I couldn’t think of a better name for this blog if i tried – it actually felt like a mild stroke of genius when I came up with that one. Those two words are just the perfect description of how i feel about myself right now, and are ultimately why i decided to start this blog to begin with. i’m starting this as a journal of sorts to help me try to make some sense of my thoughts and feelings, primarily for my partner to read (thus why we are keeping it private for now, we might open it up later if we both agree on it – and yet i find myself still writing like i have an audience – i think that diary like style of writing makes it easier for me to keep talking without feeling strange).

So for the benefit of anyone who isn’t my partner if you ever get to see this, i’m a male in my mid 20’s, i have what i would like to call a fairly successful career to date, and a family that i love to bits – that’s what the world gets to see of me. Then there is another part of me – a part where i want to submit to my wife, where i want to be bound and abused, where i want to be used and feel owned. Naturally this part is much more private, and as such it hasn’t been able to be out and open and as well thought out as the rest of my life, i still event feel awkward talking about it to my wife, and we have been together for years and she has known a little about how i feel for almost as long.

What is the problem then i hear you ask? Well we have tried before to do the whole slave and Mistress thing, with varying levels of success, but each time it eventually dwindled away and returned back to that dark corner of my mind. After talking with my wife about it, she said she didn’t really feel like she really understood what i wanted out of this type of relationship – and to be honest neither did i – all i had was lots of random little fantasies that i was trying to piece together into one meaningful piece. i think this lack of understanding what ultimately the undoing of what we were trying to achieve.

The goal now is clear – understanding and getting myself out of this feeling of ‘bemusement’. To understand that private corner of my life and to share every part of it with my wife, so that ultimately we can both benefit from it. i’ll continue to document my thoughts and actions here and hopefully a path forward will eventually form.

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